“He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. ‘It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets,’ he thought.” – Bored of the Rings
I shouldn’t have mentioned Bulldogs! to my Dark Nebula players, because one of them immediately wanted to play an urseminite. So I had to rate them as a Savage Worlds race…
(As if there was another kind…)
Urseminites are three to four feet tall and look like living teddy bears: Short, pudgy, covered in soft fur, and completely non-threatening – they have no claws and their teeth are blunt. Urseminites are a genetically-engineered species, created by the Terran Mandate as pets or possibly childminders.
However, something went horribly wrong; the results are notoriously vicious, utterly devoid of empathy, and unencumbered by any kind of morality – their only interests in life are their own selfish amusement and personal gain. Urseminites indulge in every vice imaginable, preferably to excess, especially if they haven’t tried it before.
They have no homeworld and – given their total focus on themselves – don’t use any kind of surnames. They are rare, and almost never found in groups larger than half a dozen – they hate each other as much as they hate everyone else. However, they have their uses; they will do literally anything to anyone if the price is right. Or if it sounds like it might be fun.
The Solomani Confederation and Aslanic Hierate both put bounties on their heads; the Confederation insists the urseminite in question is proven guilty of an actual crime (usually not hard to do) and brought back alive to face trial (usually really hard to do), whereas the Hierate sees them as vermin and is deliberately trying to hunt the species to extinction, so far without success.
Things people say to (or about) Urseminites:
- “Oh, aren’t you just so cute! Oww! It stabbed me!”
- “How are you even awake? There was enough in there to kill an elephant!”
- “YOU DID WHAT? Oh God. I think I’m going to be sick.”
- “Man, you could’ve just killed him. You didn’t have to do that.”
- “We’re not with him, officer. Never seen him before.”
- “I hate that furry little pervert. Go ahead and shoot him.”
Begin with Vigour d6; +1 Toughness, -1 Pace, running die d4, -2 Charisma, ignore one point of Wound modifiers.
Numbers in [ ] are point costs under the SW race-building rules.
- Vigorous. Urseminites are sturdy little devils. You start with a d6 Vigour, rather than the usual d4.
- Thick Fur and Fat, granting +1 Toughness [+2]. Urseminites are very durable for their size and shape. Your body is insulated with thick fur and a layer of fat that protects you from damage.
- Nerves of Steel. [+2] Urseminites have a great resistance to pain. You ignore one point of wound modifiers.
- Small. [-2] -1 Toughness and Obese [-1]: +1 Toughness, -1 Pace, d4 running die; the +1 Toughness and -1 Toughness cancel out, leaving you with +1 overall. You’re short, round, and cuddly.
- Universally Despised. Outsider [-1]. Everybody who has ever met an urseminite hates them. -2 Charisma. (This is equivalent to having every other species as a racial enemy, with a -4 reaction from everyone, but also being Attractive for +2 Charisma – they cancel out to be the same as Outsider.)
EDGES AND HINDRANCES
You already have Nerves of Steel, Obese, Outsider and Small. You can’t take those again.
Recommended Edges: Assassin (you love stabbing people in the back), Berserk (you fight like a rabid dog), Brave (you just don’t care), Killer Instinct, Liquid Courage, No Mercy.
Forbidden Edges: No urseminite may take Brawler or Bruiser, because they were genetically engineered to be physically inoffensive and have no natural weapons; their nails and teeth are blunt and their thick fur cushions their punches and kicks. You can’t be Brawny, because you’re already Obese. No urseminite may have any Leadership Edge, Beast Bond, Beast Master, Common Bond, Followers, or Sidekick, because that would mean he cared about something other than himself.
Recommended Hindrances: Major: Arrogant, Bloodthirsty, Enemy, Greedy, Habit (any vice). Minor: Enemy, Greedy, Habit (any vice), Mean, Quirk (anything disgusting).
Forbidden Hindrances: No urseminite may take Code of Honour, Heroic, Loyal, or Pacifist, because that would mean he cared about something other than himself. Appropriate Vows are permitted (“I’m going to drink every bar on the planet dry.”)
Urseminites are (obviously) borrowed from Galileo Games‘ Bulldogs! – if that had been written for Savage Worlds rather than FATE, I would probably be playing it right now rather than Dark Nebula. Anyway, no challenge intended to any copyright, and if you like FATE and hilarious space opera I recommend Bulldogs! to you. You may see Savaged Bulldogs! here yet, I seriously considered it.